that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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