It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
