Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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