This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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