How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
