Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
