Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
