Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
