I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
