I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
50% drunk capacity currently
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
