I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
