One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
