I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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