Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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