OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
