also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
