yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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