she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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