omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
