Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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