Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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