i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
