Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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