Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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