i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
