he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
