I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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