Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize