dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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