Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
only if we run a train.
done.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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