in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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