So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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