Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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