why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
