The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
