Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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