4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
