can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Pooping to opera.
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