If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize