is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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