New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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