We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
