I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm having to shit out rocks
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