New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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