I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
