Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
