don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
