Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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