Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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