I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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