Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
