Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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