i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
