hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
