SEEEEXXX PLEASE
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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