Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
