put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
another moral hangover. fuck.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
