im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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