So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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