You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
