i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
