the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was a blind-side dick pic.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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