The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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