It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Vodka?
Forever.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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