I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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