I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Couch. On fire.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
