I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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