my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
