I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
