but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
