you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
