you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You made out with two different species that night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
