Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
