my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
