I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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