Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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