How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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