I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
