She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
